Zombies and Coffee
by numarg
Summary: A L4D fic that's also a coffeeshop au? The world is a strange place, even stranger when baristas, slackers, and substitute teachers turn into zombies. There will be violence, A LOT of swear words, bad grammar, inappropriate student/teacher relationships, and everything else that goes hand in hand with coffeeshop aus! Rated T for now.


**WOAH I'M NOT DEAD sup folks? believe it or not i still write about my homogay zombies but they are even better than before. they got make overs and their back stories were fixed~ this is essentially my other fiction Forgetful but in a completely different universe, where Cody is not so much of a delinquent and more of a pissy barista! i'm probably going to keep with this because i absolutely love writing these guys, so yeah!**

**very slow climb, there is violence in this chapter!**

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><p>Today is going to suck balls.<p>

Greg was not one for Tuesdays. Funny enough, he adored Mondays solely because his students hated it. He felt proud in the fact that he was very teacher-like in that respect; flourishing on his student's despair. That changed on Tuesday, however, as the students slowly got back into the flow of the week and that drained Greg's charismatic joy.

He arrived to the school early so he could enjoy his coffee in peace, whenever he'd drink it with students nearby they would make fun of his habit of putting in a bit of salt. He had enough of that bullshit in high school, thank you very much, he didn't need to relive that. Sure, it was fucking weird to put salt in coffee but whatever, he wasn't hurting anyone.

Greg hangs his coat in the metal cabinet to the left of his desk at the head of the classroom and then sits gingerly on the obnoxiously luxurious chair. He was so relieved when the principal allowed him to bring his own furniture as long as it didn't inhibit his teaching. A sigh escapes and turns into a ferocious yawn midway, leaving an awkward ache in his jaw. Groaning quietly, Greg brings his stainless steel thermos to his lips and sips, leaning his head back against the leather cushion. A quick glance at the clock above the door tells him he has half an hour until torture begins. He frowns and reflects about his day before. While it wasn't his favorite, it was pretty decent. He got to prod at his "teacher's pet" and get a wonderful reaction out of him.

His collar hadn't been roughly grabbed in such a long time, he remembers tingles down his spine and the cheeky grin he wore.

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><p>They aren't home today and he's going to make the best of this freedom. He calls up his friend and makes his way to the decrepit kitchen in search of something to shove in his mouth. Thank god he thought to buy himself poptarts with his meager self sufficiency.<p>

He scarfs down one offensive pastry and grabs an old skateboard, leaving the run-down apartment and bumping into -toppling over more like- the friend mentioned. He thoughtlessly holds out a hand to the tinier boy on the ground and hauls him to his feet. They share brief smirks and roll away on their shitty modes of transportation.

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><p>Their day is spent skating and falling, jumping and running. A good day. Sadly, their fun is cut short when 4 pm strikes on his friend's wrist watch.<p>

"Fuck," Cody hisses, "I gotta go to work if I want to eat this week." Terrance nods and skates on the road alongside his friend.

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><p>Terrance giggles when Cody comes out from the back room. He can't help it; Cody's boss has a wonderful asset in attracting customers and knows fully well how to use it. Cody growls a half hearted "fuck you" and flips him the bird. His uniform is at least two sizes too small. He doesn't understand why he needs suspenders, they literally serve no purpose. He scratches under his dumb hat and grumbles as he sets up the coffee machines.<p>

Terrance watches him with unbridled glee, sighing over exaggeratedly when Cody would have to pick up something heavy or bend. Cody is surprised he's not disgusted with his friend's homosexual habits, he's actually totally okay with it. He knows that Terrance knows he's not getting lucky in this lifetime or the next, so he ignores it. Sometimes, if he's feeling particularly evil, he'll flex deliberately or smirk at his friend. Terrance has no control over his reactions and generally goes beet red and squeaks.

It's worth it if he does it in public.

It's about time to turn the open sign on, he closes his eyes with pain and turns the store's radio on. It's awful, truly awful. The pop starts abruptly and he recognizes it with disdain as Katy Perry's "Roar".

Slumping over to the neon open sign he switches it on and unlocks the front door. His worst hours are ahead of him now.

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><p>On his walk home, Greg notices a little strip-mall store's neon coffee cup with steam lighting up every couple seconds. He wonders vaguely if coffee this late at night will cause him problems the next day. A look at his phone tells him it's about 6 and shrugs to himself. Why the hell not? His favorite student didn't show up today, might as well treat himself to alleviate the disappointment.<p>

Terrance hasn't left since work started and has been making snide comments about the customers for hours. Cody wonders if there is a god and if he should thank them for making such an amazing human being as his friend. Then quickly dismisses the thought because Terrance is a goddamn menace and should not be allowed near the coffee machines under any circumstance.

The night was moderately slow, and Cody reveled in the lack of customers until the door chimed just as he was about to go on break. He turned to glare at the offending customer and froze.

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><p>Greg looked around the cafe with surprise and mild interest. He didn't think the shop name, The Country Mugger, would hold true, but lo and behold; coffee mugs and Civil War decorations. The place smelled heavenly as he inconspicuously sniffed the air. Coffee and dust attacked his nostrils, he gave in to his senses and found a nice table near a glass showcase of tiny armies and antique guns.<p>

He gazed idly around and took in the ridiculous amounts of coffee and mugs.

_I wonder if I could drink this place dry… God, I hope they have decaf._

He noticed a light breathy chuckle and locked in on a huddled person leaning over the counter. He knew that auburn hair and blue hoodie anywhere and grinned. Getting up, he ambled over to the counter and sat on the stool next to Terrance.

"Well, if it isn't Terrance Tanner! I missed you in homeroom this morning, playing hookie or are you deathly ill?" His tone was teasing, but Greg was actually a little annoyed that Terrance skipped.

The boy jumped slightly and jerked his head in Greg's direction, "Oh, teach! What's up? Sorry, I didn't know you cared~" He snickered and leveled a calm gaze at his senior, but shrunk after a moment as Greg didn't back down. He held his head high and looked down at Terrance and smiled, "Of course I care! What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't notice when one of my most favored students doesn't show up?"

Terrance tried to keep a straight face, he really did, but he was weak. He turned away to look at the rock candies in a barrel on the other side of the counter and coughed. Greg felt himself smirking and looked to the menu above the register and then to the only worker in sight, who was very stubbornly wiping down an already clean coffee machine, with his back facing the only two customers in the store.

Nearly choking on his own spit, Greg let out a wary, "Excuse me, could I get some coffee please?"

The waiter/cashier stopped what he was doing and stiffly turned around, daggers staring straight into Greg's soul.

"What'dya want?" He all but growled.

Mocking surprise, Greg gasped out, "Oh, Cody! It's such a shock to see you working! I didn't know you had a job. Was this where you both were instead of school?" His grin broke out through his act.

"Shut up, what do you want." Biting the words out and eyes ablaze with fury, Greg kept control of himself, while fanning himself mentally.

_Oh, this is just too good._

Cody crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with his teacher's rouse.

"Ah, not in the mood for games tonight? Well alright, give me the strongest cup of joe you got." Greg smiled sweetly and placed his hands in front of him on the counter.

Cody spared a glance at Terrance, they held a brief mental conference, and set up the coffee.

Terrance coughed into his hand and shrugged awkwardly, "So… it's getting late, Cody. I think I'm gonna head home now." Cody whipped around to glare at his friend, no scratch that, traitor. Terrance gave him an apologetic smile and wheedled his way out of the dangerous atmosphere.

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><p>"dude im sooo srry but i cldnt get in the way of LOVE"<p>

"your dead to me"

Cody exhaled harshly and pocketed his phone. Tonight just got difficult. The angry teen glared at the coffee machine, dripping oh so slowly, and purposefully ignoring his only customer.

"So how long have you worked here?" Greg was fishing and they both knew it.

"Make good money?"

"Worth skipping school?"

"You bet yer fuckin' ass it's worth it." Cody finally snapped back and turned to face his annoying teacher.

Greg smiled sweetly and soaked in the attention, "Oh, really? So it's nice working here? Your uniform looks a little uncomfortable, though." His eyes seemed to glint appreciatively, it made Cody slightly uncomfortable but it also made him flush in anger.

"It's fuckin' peaches an' sunshine working here. There's nothin' wrong with my uniform so fuck off."

Agitated, Cody turned back to the coffee machine in hopes that the conversation would die so he wouldn't get in trouble for throttling the man. Greg chuckled at Cody's embarrassed behaviour. Of course he wouldn't take his flirt as intended, he'd settle for the eye candy and the nectar of life he was just handed.

Greg thanked his server and took a careful sip and sighed contentedly, "This is wonderful, thank you, Cody."

Cody made a face at him and set about cleaning the mess from the order.

Three cups later and Greg asks again, "Where were you today?"

Cody shrugs noncommittally, "Around."

Greg eyes him over the edge of his mug and drinks his caffeine silently. Cody gets restless with the silence and barks out, "What."

"Oh nothing, I was just a little sad you didn't come in today. We didn't get a chance to talk about your behaviour yesterday." Greg looks hard at Cody, passively demanding an answer.

Cody furrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms in front of him, "Where I was today is none of your fuckin' business, gramps. What do you mean by my 'behaviour yesterday'?" Using air quotes to emphasize how dumb his teacher sounded.

"Oh, come on, Cody. You're dumb but not dim." A little annoyed at Cody's ignorance, his attitude spikes.

Angry and a little confused, Cody hisses back, "I don't know what the fuck yer talkin' about, asshole."

Greg frowns before saying, "You grabbed my collar. I hope you know how much trouble you could have gotten into if I didn't like you."

Cody looks even more confused and tilts his head a little, "I don't remember that."

Greg takes in how sincere he seems and decides to let it go, "Alright, if you say so. Can I get another?"

After a moment he quietly asks, "Do you have any salt?"

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><p>It's just about time to close the shop. Greg's final check came out to 13.27 and boy, he was wide awake. Cody doesn't understand why his teacher sat there and drank fucking coffee for three hours, He probably had better things to do, like not annoy the shit out of him. And especially not make gross eyes at him. Seriously, guy, take a fucking hint. Cody suspects that he's getting used to it though, much like Terrance's dumb puppy crush. Rather than glare at him, he just rolls his eyes in irritated exasperation.<p>

The store closes without any problems. As Cody locked the building up he noticed Greg had not left yet.

"Go home, you asshole." The words hardly held any malice, just exhaustion and mild curiosity.

"Why, Cody, wouldn't you like to walk with me?" Greg smiled. He'd walk with him regardless, despite the fact that Cody probably worked late and walked home alone in the dark before didn't sway the protective urges.

Cody just stared at him, unimpressed, "You are a fuckin' moron. How are you allowed to be a teacher, it is literally beyond me."

"That's kind of mean," Greg pouted, "I'm just concerned for your well being. What if something happens to you? It's dangerous to be out this late at night alone."

"Have you seen me?" Cody gestures to himself, his muscles and height, then finally his very tired face. "You honestly think I can't handle myself?"

Greg steps back and strokes his chin, humming, "I have seen you, yes. Very nice." He chuckles and shrugs, "There's always a first for everything, though, and I don't want to leave you alone on the off chance something does happen."

Cody groans and gives up the fight, he honestly doesn't care anymore.

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><p>Greg notices Cody getting agitated as they head deeper into the city.<p>

_He probably doesn't want to be seen with me. Too bad._

Greg nudges his shoulder with his own and quietly asks, "You alright, kiddo?"

Cody turns to glare at the offending party, "Fuckin' stop calling me that, what am I, five?"

Greg laughs, "No, you're not, but if I didn't remind myself of the age gap I'd be all over you!"

Watching closely, out of the corner of his eye, Greg scans Cody's face for a reaction. A light blush settles; that's a score for Greg.

Cody snarls at him, "Only in your dreams ya fuckin' pedo."

"And what nice dreams they are, too," he mumbles. Cody punches him in the side, knocking the breath out of his elder.

"Aw c'mon, Cody it was a joke!"

"I'll fuckin' put your ass in jail or a grave if you keep up with that bullshit." Greg really likes Cody's angry voice, all low and rumbling.

Greg laughs and struggles to catch up to Cody and keeps a respectful distance between them as they walk. Greg becomes wary of their surroundings as the buildings and roads gradually get worse and less kept. The walk continues in silence, spare the random homeless person muttering or cat yowling into the night. Cody stops at a crumbling building that is apparently where he lives. He mumbles a "now go home you fuck" and goes inside. Greg smiles, glad that Cody got home safe and begins heading home himself.

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><p>Not even tens minutes pass before one of the homeless people he saw before attacks him.<p>

The strangled cries of the hobo streak across the back of Greg's mind as broken and yellowed teeth break into his skin on his arm. Screaming in shock and pain, he flings the arm upwards, tearing stray teeth out of his assailant's mouth, then brings it down on the other's head, knocking him unconscious.

Greg stumbled backwards, breath ragged and tearing painfully from his chest, "What the fuck?!"

Before giving the situation any more thought he makes a mad dash to the safety of his home and makes it there in record time. He examines the wound and treats it as best he can. His mind is getting foggy, a searing pain flashes behind his eyes and he crumbles to the tiled floor in his bathroom.

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><p><strong>and that was the end dun dun dunnnnn<strong>

**if i keep up with this but don't post it here check out my tumblr, it's linked on my page ;y**

**reviews are welcome!**


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